Validate Me!?

“What the superior man seeks is in himself; what the small man seeks is in others.” – Confucius

Humans seek to associate with and befriend those who think and feel the same way they do because it validates their own views. It’s comforting to be with those that think and feel like us. It makes us feel like part of a herd, and unity within a herd is comforting and reassuring. Fear is our biggest slave driver, and we would rather belong with a multitude than disunite due to our segregate views.

But here’s my question. Why do we continuously seek validation from those who celebrate our segregation? Why this constant hunger for Likes and Positive comments on Social Media? The never ending desire to please others and lose our inner voice along the way? The need for a Gold Star sticker, pat on the back or a sympathetic smile?

And here’s my observation – Most of us seek validation and feel so broken when it’s not received from external sources because we have become so disunited and distrusting of ourselves! We have lost faith in the magnificence of our inner power due to the external conditioning received over the years that encouraged us to look only outwards for support and strength. Until we finally forgot that all the strength, and all the answers, and every validation we required, lay within!

So let’s try out something different. Stop scavenging for praise, esteem or admiration. Tell yourself daily that the only validation or judgement that matters is your quest for your own authentic self. Stick to this pledge resolutely and you will realize that an amazing alchemy will start manifesting when you stop hunting for outside approval and endorsement. You will find it! The world is magically drawn to those who recognize their inner power and can’t be shaken!

And yes, one thing is for sure – you'll have lesser anguish, disillusionment and health issues when you stop seeking from others what only you can give to yourself!

When you finally learn to love and appreciate yourself just the way you are, you will receive the validation from the rest of the world. Although funnily by then, you certainly won’t need it!