“Forgiveness is not an occasional act, it is a constant
attitude.” – Martin Luther King Jr.
Forgiveness is a 2 forked road. All through
life, people will betray you, hurt you, wrong you, and treat you dreadfully.
Let the Universe deal with them. Let go of the hurt, otherwise the hatred
nurtured in your heart will damage you forever. To be wounded is trivial,
unless you persist on nursing its memory forever.
You retort, “Easier said than done!” Keep in
mind, every action is reactive of a similar situation. Most people offend
others as a result of their own inner pain. If somebody is uncouth or offensive
to you, you can almost be certain that they have some deep unresolved issues
plaguing them within. Issues like unspoken anger, grief, bitterness or loss are
being coped with. Forgive them, as they know no better way to cope with the
trauma. Be the bigger person. The last thing they need is for you to make
matters worse by reacting irately.
It’s important to forgive. I am certainly not
advocating liking your offenders, becoming best friends with them, or texting
them smileys and heartfelt messages. We have to forgive them, because if we
don't we are doomed to carry a heavy burden on our backs. Hatred and revenge is
a double edged sword. Don't forgive them because they deserve it... Forgive
them because they need it ...and above all, because you need it. As Criss Jami
beautifully puts it, “Grudges are for those who insist that they are owed
something; forgiveness, however, is for those who are substantial enough to
move on.”
Forgiving others is just the first fork of the road. The
second parallel fork on this road is ‘Inner Forgiveness’. I realized through
the trials of life that the one person I need
to ask for forgiveness from the most is ‘Myself’. It’s vital to love yourself
and nurture the habit of forgiving yourself, every single day. Every time you
instinctively recall a weakness, an inadequacy, a shortcoming or a blemish
within you, you have to tell yourself "It’s OK”. We are all creatures of
God who are collectively on a continuous path of evolution. Learn to absolve yourself
to such an extent that you don't even see those flaws and cracks within you anymore.
It is critical that we forgive ourselves for our past mistakes. We need to
learn from our blunders and simply move on. Because
we matter, and everything we feel, think or do is important and profoundly
impacts the world around us.
The willingness to forgive others and oneself
on a daily and immediate basis is a sign of spiritual and emotional maturity.
It is one of the greatest qualities that we should all aspire for. Can you
envisage a world filled with people willing both to instantaneously forgive and
ready to genuinely accept an apology? What a wonderful world that would be? The
largesse of human spirit, humility and love could resolve any problem plaguing the
world. Forgiveness would be our generation’s greatest contribution to healing an
angry and damaged world.
Every time you pardon others or yourself, the
universe changes! Every time you reach out and heal a heart with love, the cosmos
transforms! Every random or conscious act of loving kindness, mercy, compassion
or selfless service will alter the energy across the universe. And in this
process of loving and forgiving, nothing will be the same again.
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