For in Death we are Reborn again...

Let the fires of Holi burn bright tonight so that all our fears & delusions can be burnt away and all that remains is the truth of our true self.

The Crucifixion of Good Friday required to remind us of the death of an old paradigm, an outdated materialistic & self-centred era.

And the resurrection of Easter Sunday necessary to help us leap to a new way of thinking, a brand new beginning. A muuch needed wake up call from the long sleep of our illusion of separateness to the truth of our collective sacred heart. 

A recognition that our apparent separation is really an illusion and that we already are, and always have been One Human Family.

A Time for Inner Reflection

The tragic and senseless terror attacks in Brussels urges us to let go of the need to be right and embrace the possibilities inherent in deep listening and deep seeing ... of looking into the eyes of our so called ‘enemy’ and recognizing even the tiniest smidgen of shared humanity upon which can be built foundations for a New World.

The world as it stands today is challenged by many opposing forces. We feel them both personally and collectively, pushing against our own will, raising difficult questions, triggering issues we would rather evade ad infinitum.

How we manage our own inner conflicts largely dictates how we manage external ones. If we struggle with our own anger or hatred, telling ourselves we shouldn’t feel this way, we will struggle to respond effectively to the anger of others.

If we fear our own power – preferring to see ourselves as victim rather than creator – we may too readily succumb to the power wielded by others, adopting their thoughts and priorities, behaviours and lifestyles without discerning the right path for us.

But if we refuse to acknowledge our own inner tyrant who demands its own way no matter what, we may project it onto the world around us, pointing the finger at those bullies out there without recognizing their reflection within ourselves.

We identify with those parts of ourselves we can live with and avoid the bits we can’t, when in fact we can live with all of it when wise discernment, gentle acceptance, compassion and understanding inform our attitude and shape our inner and outer relationships.

Time to reflect upon what divides us, what unites us and how we can move forward together in a life-affirming and positive way. Time to encourage each other and ourselves.

Time to hold up to others a mirror in which they can see their potential, not their failings: a divine child of God not an orphan of circumstance.

Reclaim Your Inner Power

One of the best things I did in 2015 was establishing healthy boundaries and accepting full responsibility for my thoughts, emotions and behaviour.

No more allowing others to squander away my time with their prolonged meaningless whining. No more permitting their opinions to dictate whether I would have a good, bad or ugly day!

No more externalizing of blame... instead choosing to forgive myself for any mistakes and chugging along focused on my goals.

Challenges became opportunities, and negative thoughts were replaced with realistic inner monologues. I did not need any more strength as I discovered how strong I already was and how much knowledge & love lay within me to share with the entire world.

And I understood that Inner Peace truly lay within...not without.

Reclaim your Inner Power....and trust me, Miracles will start happening!

Ode to Every Teacher

None of us got where we are solely by pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps. We got here because somebody - a parent, teacher, mentor, guide, spiritual guru, colleague or friend, bent down and helped us pick up our boots.

Books ignited hope, imagination and my greatest love for learning more.

Every mountain, ocean, river, tree and living being was a teacher in some form or another.

I also learned silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind. Silence in meditation was golden as I discovered that there is no greater teacher than my own soul.

Every day I share my gratitude with everyone who helped me on this journey and everything that I have been blessed with. Never forgetting that the greatest appreciation lies not in simply uttering these words, but in living by them.

What is in our way, is part of the way

Time and again life repeatedly seems to bring us moments that introduce us to some unseen limitation in our present level of self. For example, in stressful situations, we can keep neither our patience nor our anger under control. Too often, cynical comments spring from our mouth as our defensive way of responding to critical remarks from another person. The trepidation of betrayal colours all our relationships, limiting our capacity to give ourselves honestly and freely to those we could love.

But obstacles and tests are part of life’s journey. In school we are taught a lesson and thereafter given a test. The ironic role reversal as we mature is that we are first given a test which in turn teaches us the lesson. Challenges return repetitively to help us understand that it is imperative to avoid resisting what life is trying to tell us. These hard knocks and lessons are the only way by which we can grasp the real truth about our present level of self. The obstacle will repeat itself, albeit in different mannerisms and forms, up until the time we don’t learn the hard lesson it was meant to teach us. It is only then that we are granted salvation and allowed to move on to experience a higher test.

Trials and turmoil are necessary for evolution and progress. An easy life leads to complacence and dents the human spirit. We discover our strengths in the bosom of our struggles and our victories within our tribulations. Challenges offer us a platform to change, adapt, evolve and become better. Change is discomforting, hardships are distressing, but both are vital.

Over time you will come to realize that the challenges faced by you have translated into your greatest strengths. History is witness to the fact that the truly greatest have suffered an immeasurable amount of ordeals and sufferings, only to emerge stronger than ever before. Ironically it was those very obstacles that helped develop their strength of character, purpose and resolve.

The mark of people’s ignorance is their depth of their belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly. Avoid victimhood. Deplore privileges. Neither are gifts, rather cages to dampen your free spirit. Mountains can crush or raise you, depending on your choice of the journey and which side of the mountain you choose to stand on.

Learn from the oyster. It doesn’t get irritated with or fight off the grains of sand that enter its shell. Instead it focuses on encountering and using these irritants to its advantage to produce the most beautiful priceless pearl. There are numerous irritants and obstacles in everybody’s life ... .the important lesson here is to adapt, adopt and create a flawless pearl.

Adversity is not a detour... it is part of the path. Personally, I am supremely grateful for all the trials, tribulations and tests thrown at me all through life for they made me a wiser, stronger and better person.  I would never have experienced an enriching and purposeful life by trying to run away from or attempting to crush what I imagined stood in my way. I now fully understand that real limitless living results from a higher understanding that ‘what is in our way is part of the way’. 

Dump the Toxic Waste

Are you surrounded by colleagues, friends or peers who are toxic? It’s easy to figure out toxic personalities as they aren’t the most vibrant people to be around. Negative personalities can be real downers in any scenario. No matter what you say, they have a way of spinning the conversation in a negative direction. Some negative people can be so downbeat that it feels wearisome just standing around them.

So what’s my definition of a toxic person? Someone who complains and plonks their problems on you but doesn’t do a darn thing to change their situation. Someone who is not supportive of your ideas and actually takes a silent delight at making you feel bad or worried. Someone who shoots down your bright ideas, big goals, or bold (and risky) decisions that you need to make in order to be successful.

There was a time I used to be influenced, perplexed or even dumbfounded by the level of toxicity in certain people. But I look at things very differently today. Toxic people are usually in a place in their life where they are not open to constructive feedback or changing, so they are stuck in their current situation and don’t have the insight to see beyond their own struggles. And that’s okay. To each their own! Our aim is to ensure that we don’t allow their pessimism to impact our life.

So here are a few tips to eliminate your life from toxic personalities:

1. Don’t get into a head on collision with them

Toxic people have extremely strong views and are unwilling to look at the other side of the coin. Whatever you say, they will find numerous arguments to defend their dogged opinion. The dialogue will simply spiral downwards into further negativity, therein sucking you into a vortex of hopelessness and despair. Your task is to offer constructive comments, however, if the person shows no sign of relenting or even listening to your views, don’t engage further. At least you will save yourself of some heartache.

2. Stay with light subjects

Toxic people are aggravated by certain topics. A friend of mine goes into a tangent whenever we talk about his work colleagues. No matter where I veer the topic, he keeps harping and complaining about his co-workers. Our task is to guide such people to a more constructive plane, but if they choose to remain wedged in their gloom, the negativity may be too deep rooted to tackle in a singular conversation. Stick with simple and light topics to elevate their sombre mood. Stay with safe dialogues or topics that you know the person has a hobby or interest in.

3. Identify with negative behaviour

How would you feel is someone told you to chillax when you are really worked up over some issue? Would you really relax or would you get even more aggravated? Empathize with this moment every time you cross paths with a toxic personality. Negative or distressed people benefit a lot more from an empathetic ear than lofty suggestions about what they should feel or do. By identifying with their distress and helping them to address their emotions in a logical manner, the solutions will automatically come to them.

4. Tackling a cry for help

Cribbing, complaining or constantly being negative is simply a cry for help. While they are often not conscious of it, and their dialogues seem as whining complaints rather than a request for assistance, it’s important for us to lend them a helping hand. A simple task of greeting them with a big smile, checking on their work or health, a quick recap of a fun weekend may do wonders for their morale. However if they manoeuvre back into the dark waters of heavy complaining, steer away and back out of the dialogue quickly. After all, nobody asked you to be a martyr to the cause.

5. Ignore the harmful comments

One of the techniques toxic people employ to drag you into their dark depressive world is by throwing casual negative comments in your direction. Don’t get sucked into this ploy. If they pass a nasty observation, ignore or give a curt “I see” or “Ok” reply. On the other hand, if they choose to be upbeat respond in affirmation. Do this often and they will figure out that you are too centred to fall for their gimmicks. Hopefully, they will adjust their behaviour gradually to become more positive personalities. 

6. If all else fails, avoid them

If none of the above tactics work, reduce contact with them or simply avoid them altogether. Negative energy from toxic people impact your energy level, not to mention your stress and anxiety levels. Ultimately, it’s your health and well-being, and you are responsible for taking care of it! If it’s a dear friend, then let them know how their negativity is affecting your life and work it out where possible. It’s not healthy to spend too much time with people who drain you. Your time is precious, so spend it with people who uplift you and have a more positive influence on your life.

Don’t feel guilty about abandoning toxic people even though you may feel like that initially. There is a difference between abandoning someone versus letting them go so they can find their own way. If you have already tried giving them advice, encouragement, or even a wake-up call and nothing happened, then no amount of wise words or intervention from you will change their thinking or behaviour. It’s time to let them go and win back your sanity.

Descend ... to Arise

“It is unwise to take any situation for granted as the ‘lesser’ mortal may be the very one to teach us the much needed lesson in humility.” 

In an era where larger than life, self-absorbed business leaders are treated like legends, with the indispensible cult following, elevating humility as an essential trait for great leadership may seem peculiar, even a bit obsolete. Yet, humility and the ability to admit error may be two of the most imperative qualities today’s visionary leaders must have.

Qualities long associated with illustrious leadership encompass passion, charisma, enthusiasm, charm, strength and foresight. One crucial element often overlooked is ‘Humility’. We are often taught that exemplary leaders should hide their weaknesses and flaws. This view itself is flawed. Admitting to being wrong is not only commendable, but can also serve as a powerful tool for leaders to increase their authenticity. When practiced regularly, humility can gradually help create a work culture that raises the bar of honesty, solidarity, innovation, openness to change and many other positive features of organizational life.

Many people erroneously believe that humility is the opposite of pride, when, in fact, it is a point of equilibrium. The opposite of pride is actually a lack of self esteem. A modest person is totally different from a person who cannot recognize and appreciate himself as he is. A self-effacing leader is self-aware and not weighed down with insecurities, constantly worrying about how he or she is perceived by their peers. Their egos reflect the reality of their persona and circumstance. They display a healthy sense of self that doesn’t overreact irrationally to external stimuli or perceived threats. From this phenomenal emotional vantage point, they are able to successfully lead their organizations. Quietly confident, they inspire their subordinates and peers to draw on their talents and to seek accomplishment, all in service to the organization and its greater goal.

Humility is the only true wisdom by which we can prepare our minds for all the possible unpredictable changes that life has to life. Self-reflection entails delving deep and asking yourself questions about your values, assessing your strengths and failures, thinking about your perceptions and interactions with others, and imagining where you want to take your life going forward.

As an old Argentinian saying goes. “Tell me what you are conceited about, and I'll tell you what you lack.” The key difference between arrogance and confidence is self-awareness. So how do you avoid the pitfalls that come with the danger of being an arrogant, pompous jerk? Just stay ‘Humble’.

Ditch the exaggerated swagger. Regardless of what you’ve heard, stakeholders just want to communicate with people who are respectful and humble. Swagger, while mildly impressive to some, is a turnoff for most.

Humility offers tremendous foresight. Knowledge that you’re going to get kicked, least of all when you expect it. Arrogance is ignorance, thinking that no one is going to ever dare take aim. It’s tougher for people to kick a nice guy when he’s down. On the contrary, the arrogant chap has always had a ‘bullseye’ painted on his rear end....people were just waiting for the right moment for him to tumble.

Humble leaders also encourage an honest flow of dialogue. Information flows both ways, but a pompous leader can't listen when his mouth is boastfully moving. The best leaders are the best listeners! They strategically know when to turn down the din and make their move.

Great leaders operate from a strong, humble, centre of gravity and are naturally perceived as more honest, trustworthy and competent. Because humility prevents excessive self-focus it also allows leaders to develop deeper perspectives and enables them to correctly foresee the future. They are not fooled by the charade on the surface, and are able to observe and correctly detect behind the flimsy veil of individuals and entire systems. One can correctly summarize that ‘Humility’ is a rare gift that leaders can only acquire once they have taken the long journey into the very heart of who they are...and made peace with their core being.

There’s an old saying that seems to capture it: A pseudo leader always leaves you with a feeling of their greatness, while a humble leader always leaves you with a feeling of your greatness.

“Do you wish to rise? Begin by descending. You plan a tower that will pierce through the clouds? Lay first the foundation of humility.” St. Augustine’s wise words written over two centuries ago leave us with much to ponder upon.